James Bond Quotes book

James Bond Quotes book

JAMES BOND:

LICENCE TO QUOTE

The Quotable 007



1,500 Humorous Quotations
about
Commander Sir James Bond


LICENCE TO ‘QUOTE’ is the first book of humorous quotations solely dedicated to the ever-expanding universe surrounding James Bond - 007.

This volume - of 1500 light-hearted quotes - uniquely focuses on humorous comments made about 007 rather than direct quotes from the Bond films or books.

“Bond has no sense of humour, telling only one joke in all 14 books (in Goldfinger (1959) - and it isn’t very funny).”
Anthony Horowitz in The Daily Telegraph (2008)

"Everyone in Bond is named after somebody Ian Fleming knew. Pussy Galore was probably his cleaning lady."
Sinclair Mackay, The Man with the Golden Touch (2008)

LICENCE TO ‘QUOTE’ is all over the lighter side of Double-0 Seven like a cheap safari suit on Roger Moore. Bond’s life and legend, books and movies, enemies and lovers, cars and gadgets all come in for close inspection. 007 is as much a sitting target for defecation by the sardonic snipers in the press as an object of deification by the eulogistic empathists populating the fansites.

"I have friends who talk about the pleasures of the Bond fantasy. But what that really boils down to is a bald bad guy, a bird in a bikini and loud bangs in a foreign country."
Cosmo Landesman in The Times (2002)

“Indiana Jones, Arnie, Derek Flint et al owe a major debt to Bond, James Bond. Or perhaps Broccoli, Cubby Broccoli.”
Michael Cooper on Alternative007.co.uk (2006)

LICENCE TO ‘QUOTE’ turns the tables on the world’s favourite spy and turns the spotlight on him. A veritable Who’s Who of observers and commentators - from all over the globe - take dead aim at James Bond: man and myth, superspy and superstar.

Comical contributions come from his creators, his biographers, his critics, his fans, his imitators and from a wide selection of media sources over the last 50 years. The depth and diversity of this source material clearly demonstrates the unrivalled level of recognition and the extraordinary fan-base James Bond has built up since he first appeared in 1953.

“It is hard to overestimate the effect James Bond had on post-war readers and audiences. Here was the first English hero who didn’t own a sensible jumper.”
Christopher Fowler in The Independent on Sunday (2006)

“In 1963 ... The Vatican condemned Dr. No as a ‘dangerous mixture of violence, vulgarity, sadism and sex.’ Ka-ching!”
Manohla Dargis in The New York Times (2006)

For fifty years, 007 has been at the summit of the best-seller’s list, at the top of the cinema box-office and remains at the forefront of the world’s consciousness. His iconic image and cultural footprint are legendary: Licence To 'Quote' celebrates that legend. 


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LICENCE TO "QUOTE"
CHAPTER LIST
with sample quotations from the book

THE 007 CASE FILE
JAMES BOND: MAN or MYTH?


Book Bond or Film Bond? 
007 In Print or On Screen
"James Bond lives on, for he has outgrown the books, and even the movies can scarcely contain him."
Michael Dirda in The Chronicle Review (2008)

Reboot, Revamp, Rebond
007's Recurring Regeneration
"In Casino Royale, Daniel Craig came out of the sea in his tight trunks and Bond was reborn. Some might even say reBourne."
The London Paper (2006)

Bond Age(d)
007 in his 'Twilight Years'
"Given that he was already a thirtysomething when he sprang to life, our least secret secret agent ought by now to be hobbling around on a Zimmer frame (with built-in Martini shaker)."
Christopher Bray in The New Statesmen (2005)

Bond, James Bond! 
Variations on 007's Oft-Imitated Introduction
"The name's Bond, James Bond ... It's timeless, the quotable equivalent of a Savile Row suit."
The Sunday Herald (2006)

Blunt, James Blunt?  

Variations on Ian Fleming's Iconic Description of 007...
"I wanted to show a hero without any characteristics, who was simply the blunt instrument in the hands of the government."
Ian Fleming in The New York Times (1954)

Shaken and Stirred
Variations on 007s Chosen Cocktail
"The franchise, which is now 40 years old, has come to mean something more than the sum of its highly inconsistent parts. For one thing, the series is safe as milk that's been neither shaken nor stirred."
Stephanie Zacharek on Salon.com (2002)

To Be James Bond
Variations on Raymond Mortimer's book review of 'OHMSS'
"James Bond is what every man would like to be, and what every woman would like between her sheets. But only in their daydreams."
Raymond Mortimer in The Sunday Times (1963)

Spy Another Day 
007 in the Real World of Espionage
"In Goldeneye, 'M' gave Bond the mother of all dressings down, calling him a sexist, misogynistic dinosaur; a relic of the Cold War and questioning his boyish charm. So that's how they do performance reviews in M.I.6."
Garry Maddox in The Sydney Morning Herald (2008)

The Bond Identity  
007 compared to other Screen Action Heroes
"Before Superman, Batman or Indiana Jones, there was Bond, the bespoke superhero, blowing up stuff and nonchalantly risking life and limb for God and country."
Hal Hinson in The Washington Post (1995)

Parallel Universal Exports

Other Screen Action Films reviewed in terms of 007
"The Transporter has a James Bond feel to it. Or rather, what a Bond film would be like if a sophisticated, ex-British special forces commando went into petty crime instead of spying."
James Plath on DVDTown.com (2002)


BOND WORLD
Bond Gadgets and Guns
"I'm into gadgets. I've always been fascinated by James Bond's gadgets. He had these brilliant little gadgets and the guy who gave them to him 'Q', must have been some kind of psychic. He always gave him exactly what he bloody well wanted."
Eddie Izzard

Bond Transport

"Bond's stupendous, gadget-infested silver Aston Martin DB5, the car that spurred a thousand Corgi purchases."
Derek Adams in Time Out magazine

Bond Intake: Food, Drink and Smokes
"Bond was the first well-known bachelor on the American scene who was not a drifter or a degenerate and did not eat out of cans."
Barbara Ehrenreich

Bond Fashion
"It is hard to overestimate the effect James Bond had on post-war readers and audiences. Here was the first English hero who didn't own a sensible jumper."
Christopher Fowler in The Independent on Sunday (2006)

Bond Sex
"I once read that Bond's tie (endlessly adjusted) is a penis substitute. It isn't; there is no substitute for a Bond penis.
Jeanette Winterson in The Guardian (2002)

Bond Mots 

"Bond is little more than a chalk outline surrounding some timeworn quirks and a quiverful of smartass quips."
John Patterson in The Guardian (2001)

Licence To Bond 

Variations on 007s Licence to Kill
"Bond, in short, is a highly perfumed fashion icon, with a licence to smell lovely."
Ben Macintyre, For Your Eyes Only (2008)


BOND BOOKS
Ian Fleming
"Ian Fleming keeps you riveted. His narrative pulls with the smooth power of Bond's Thunderbird."
The Sunday Telegraph (1962)

Ian Fleming on Bond
"I'm not in the Shakespeare stakes. My books are straight pillow-book fantasies of the bang-bang kiss-kiss variety."
Ian Fleming

The Bond Novels
"The 1950s was the era of Ian Fleming's James Bond stories, a species of cloak-and-dagger and espionage. Averaging about fifteen clichés per page, they were scarcely readable then and became less so as the years went by."
John A. Cuddon, A Dictionary of Literary Terms (1977)

Non-Fleming Novels and Authors
"Getting Sebastian Faulks to write a Bond book is like asking Polly Toynbee to write the next Die Hard film."
Jeremy Clarkson in The Times (2008)


BOND ON SCREEN
Bond Movies
"Live and Let Die doesn't just embrace lameness, it gropes and French kisses lameness with vodka breath and then vomits in lameness's bed."
David Campbell

Premium Bonds
007's Leading Men
"George Lazenby wasn't Sean Connery. He wasn't even Neil Connery."
The Rough Guide to James Bond 

M.I.6. Head Office
"There's 'M', Bond's boss, who's become so maternal in her dealings with him that you half expect her to slip a lollipop in with his next travel itinerary."
Kurt Loder on MTV.com (2008)

Bond Girls
"The books are extravagant - their parade of barely clad heroines so absurdly named they sound like lingerie brands: Solitaire, Tiffany Case, Honeychile Rider, Kissy Suzuki."
Charles McGrath in The New York Times (2008)

Bond Villains
"The least likely Blofeld in Bond history ... A tall figure with a beard, Max von Sydow's Blofeld looked as if he had stumbled out of rehearsals for some stage version of Ibsen's A Dolls House."
Geoffrey Macnab in The Independent (2008)

Other Bond Characters
"The one unalloyed treat in Golden Gun is Hervé Villechaize as Scaramanga's diminutive butler-cum-attack dog Nick Nack."
Adam Lee Davies in Time Out magazine (2008)

Behind The Camera
"That hallowed piece of montage - the title sequence - in which the viewer is shot by Bond while unwisely attempting to hide in a spiral sea shell."
Adam Mars-Jones in The Independent (1995)

Bond Music
"Dum didi dum dum dum der der; dum didi dum dum dum DER-DER, der-der-der. Thirty years after my first James Bond movie, that signature tune can still send a shiver up my spine."
Jackie Ashley in The New Statesman (1999)

The Title Is Not Enough  
Alternative 007 film titles
"Goldeneye opted to use Ian Fleming's address, which suggests a novel way forward. Future Bonds could use the name of his school (Durnford), or his waist measurement, or his favourite breed of dog. It could be worse. It could be Quantum Of Solace."
Xan Brooks in The Guardian (2008)

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